Self Esteem

 

What is a Self-Concept? A Definition

Self-concept is a central idea we have about who we are—physically, emotionally, socially, spiritually, and in terms of any other aspects that make up who we are (Neill, 2005). We form our self-concept as we grow; based on the knowledge we have about ourselves. It is multidimensional, and can be broken down into these individual aspects; for example, you may have a very different idea of who you are in terms of your physical body and who you are in terms of your spirit or soul.

The influential self-efficacy researcher Roy Baumeister (1999) defines self-concept as follows:

“The individual’s belief about himself or herself, including the person’s attributes and who and what the self is.”

A similar definition comes from Rosenberg’s 1979 book on the topic; he says self-concept is:

“…the totality of an individual’s thoughts and feelings having reference to himself as an object.”

Self-concept is related to several other “self” constructs, such as self-esteem, self-image, self-efficacy, and self-awareness.

Dimensions of Self-Concept

As a broad and holistic construct, there are many dimensions or components of self-concept. Further, different dimensions may make up different kinds of self-concept; for example, the dimensions that make up academic self-efficacy will likely not have much overlap with social self-efficacy.

However, there are some overarching dimensions that many researchers agree on as pieces of the self-concept puzzle. These dimensions include:

Self-esteem

Self-worth

Self-image (physical)

Ideal self

Identities or roles (social)

Personal traits and qualities (Elliot, 1984; Gecas, 1982)

 

Examples of Self-Concept

Some examples of positive self-concepts include:

·         A person sees herself as an intelligent person.

·         A man perceives himself as an important member of his community.

·         A woman sees herself as an excellent spouse and friend.

·         A person thinks of himself as a nurturing and caring person.

·         A person views herself as a hard-working and competent employee.

 

On the flip side, these people could have negative self-concepts like:

·         A person sees herself as stupid and slow.

·         A man perceives himself as expendable and a burden on his community.

·         A woman sees herself as a terrible spouse and friend.

·         A person thinks of himself as a cold and unapproachable person.

·         A person views herself as a lazy and incompetent employee.

 

Self-Concept vs. Self-Esteem

Self-concept is not self-esteem, although self-esteem may be a part of self-concept. Self-concept is the perception that we have of ourselves, our answer when we ask ourselves the question “Who am I?” It knows about one’s own tendencies, thoughts, preferences and habits, hobbies, skills, and areas of weakness. According to Carl Rogers, founder of client-centered therapy, self-concept is an overarching construct that self-esteem is one of the components of it (McLeod, 2008).

Self-Concept vs. Self-Image

Self-image is related to self-concept, but is generally less broad. Self-image is how an individual sees him- or herself, and it does not necessarily have to align with reality! A person’s self-image is based only on how they see themselves, while self-concept is a more comprehensive evaluation of the self-based on how a person sees herself, values herself, thinks about herself, and feels about herself. Carl Rogers posited that self-image is a component of self-concept, along with self-esteem or self-worth and one’s “ideal self” (McLeod, 2008).

Self-Concept vs. Self-Efficacy

Self-concept is a more complex construct than self-efficacy; while self-efficacy refers to an individual’s judgments of their own abilities, self-concept is more general and includes both cognitive (thoughts about) and affective (feelings about) judgments about oneself (Bong & Clark, 1999).

Self-Concept vs. Self-Awareness

Self-awareness may also be considered a component of or factor influencing self-concept. It is the quality or trait that involves conscious awareness of one’s own thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and traits (Cherry, 2018A). To have a fully developed self-concept (and one that is based in reality), a person must have at least some level of self-awareness.

The Meaning of Self-Concept Theory

There are many theories about what exactly self-concept is and how it develops, but generally, theorists agree on these points:

o        On the broadest level, self-concept is the overall idea we have about who we are and includes cognitive and affective judgments about ourselves.

o        Self-concept is multi-dimensional, incorporating our views of ourselves in terms of several different aspects (e.g., social, religious, and spiritual, physical, emotional).

o        It is learned, not inherent.

o        It is influenced by biological and environmental factors, but social interaction plays a big role as well.

o        Self-concept develops through childhood and early adulthood when it is more easily changed or updated.

o        It can be changed in later years, but it is more of an uphill battle since people have established ideas about who they are.

o        Self-concept does not always make straight with reality. When it does, our self-concept is “congruent.” When it doesn’t, our self-concept is “incongruent.” (Cherry, 2018B; Gecas, 1982).

Self-esteem

Self-esteem reflects an individual's overall subjective emotional evaluation of their own worth. It is the decision made by an individual as an attitude towards the self. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs about oneself, (for example, "I am competent", "I am worthy"), as well as emotional states, such as triumph, despair, pride, and shame.

 Smith and Mackie (2007) defined it by saying "The self-concept is what we think about the self; self-esteem is the positive or negative evaluations of the self, as in how we feel about it.

Researchers have conceptualized it as an influential prognosticator of certain outcomes, such as academic achievement, happiness, satisfaction in marriage and relationships, and criminal behaviour. Self-esteem can apply specifically to a particular dimension (for example, "I believe I am a good writer and feel happy about that") or a global extent (for example, "I believe I am a bad person, and feel bad about myself in general"). Psychologists usually regard self-esteem as an enduring personality characteristic ("trait" self-esteem), though normal, short-term variations ("state" self-esteem) also exist. Synonyms or near-synonyms of self-esteem include many things: self-worth, self-regard, self-respect, and self-integrity.

Theories

Many early theories suggested that self-esteem is a basic human need or motivation.

 American psychologist Abraham Maslow included self-esteem in his hierarchy of human needs. He described two different forms of "esteem": the need for respect from others in the form of recognition, success, and admiration, and the need for self-respect in the form of self-love, self-confidence, skill, or aptitude. Respect from others was believed to be more fragile and easily lost than inner self-esteem. According to Maslow, without the fulfillment of the self-esteem need, individuals will be driven to seek it and unable to grow and obtain self-actualization. Maslow also states that the healthiest expression of self-esteem "is the one which manifests in respect we deserve for others, more than renowned, fame and flattery". Abraham Maslow states that psychological health is not possible unless the essential core of the person is fundamentally accepted, loved and respected by others and by her or his self. Self-esteem allows people to face life with more confidence, benevolence and optimism, and thus easily reach their goals and self-actualize

Modern theories of self-esteem explore the reasons humans are motivated to maintain a high regard for themselves.

Socio-meter theory maintains that self-esteem evolved to check one's level of status and acceptance in ones' social group.

According to Terror Management Theory, self-esteem serves a protective function and reduces anxiety about life and death.

Carl Rogers (1902-1987), an advocate of humanistic psychology, theorized the origin of many people's problems to be that they despise themselves and consider themselves worthless and incapable of being loved. This is why Rogers believed in the importance of giving unconditional acceptance to a client and when this was done it could improve the client's self-esteem. In his therapy sessions with clients, he offered positive regard no matter what. Indeed, the concept of self-esteem is approached since then in humanistic psychology as an inalienable right for every person, summarized in the following sentence.

 

What Is a Self‐Evaluation?   A self‐evaluation is your thoughtful and considered written review of your performance during the evaluation cycle.  It involves rating established goals, competencies, and overall performance.

Types

High self-esteem

People with a healthy level of self-esteem:

• Firmly believe in certain values and principles, and are ready to defend them even when finding opposition, feeling secure enough to modify them in light of experience.
• Are able to act according to what they think to be the best choice, trusting their own judgment, and not feeling guilty when others do not like their choice.
• Do not lose time worrying excessively about what happened in the past, nor about what could happen in the future. They learn from the past and plan for the future, but live in the present intensely.
• Fully trust in their capacity to solve problems, not hesitating after failures and difficulties. They ask others for help when they need it.
• Consider they equal in dignity to others, rather than inferior or superior, while accepting differences in certain talents, personal prestige or financial standing.
• Understand how they are an interesting and valuable person for others, at least for those with whom they have a friendship.
• Resist manipulation, collaborate with others only if it seems appropriate and convenient.
• Admit and accept different internal feelings and drives, either positive or negative, revealing those drives to others only when they choose.
• Are able to enjoy a great variety of activities.

Low self-esteem

Low self-esteem can result from various factors, including genetic factors, physical appearance or weight, mental health issues, socioeconomic status, significant emotional experiences, peer pressure or bullying.

A person with low self-esteem may show some of the following characteristics:

·         Heavy self-criticism and dissatisfaction.

·         Hypersensitivity to criticism with resentment against critics and feelings of being attacked.

·         Chronic indecision and an exaggerated fear of mistakes.

·         Excessive will to please and unwillingness to displease any petitioner.

·         Perfectionism, which can lead to frustration when perfection is not achieved.

·         Neurotic guilt, dwelling on or exaggerating the magnitude of past mistakes.

·         Floating hostility and general defensiveness and irritability without any proximate cause.

·         Pessimism and a general negative outlook.

·         Sees temporary setbacks as permanent, intolerable conditions.

We also know that there are some simple ways to tell if you have high self-esteem. For example, you likely have high self-esteem if you:

ü  Act assertively without experiencing any guilt, and feel at ease communicating with others.

ü  Avoid dwelling on the past and focus on the present moment.

ü  Believe you are equal to everyone else, no better and no worse.

ü  Reject the attempts of others to manipulate you.

ü  Recognize and accept a wide range of feelings, both positive and negative, and share them within your healthy relationships.

ü  Enjoy a healthy balance of work, play, and relaxation.

ü  Accept challenges and take risks in order to grow, and learn from your mistakes when you fail.

ü  Handle criticism without taking it personally, with the knowledge that you are learning and growing and that your worth is not dependent on the opinions of others.

ü  Value yourself and communicate well with others, without fear of expressing your likes, dislikes, and feelings.

ü  Value others and accept them as they are without trying to change them.

ü  Stop comparing yourself with others.

How to boost-up self-esteem

Positive thinking: Stop negative self-talk to reduce stress

Understanding positive thinking and self-talk

Positive thinking doesn't mean that you keep your head in the sand and ignore life's less pleasant situations. Positive thinking just means that you approach unpleasantness in a more positive and productive way. You think the best is going to happen, not the worst.

Positive thinking often starts with self-talk. Self-talk is the endless stream of unspoken thoughts that run through your head. These automatic thoughts can be positive or negative. Some of your self-talk comes from logic and reason. Other self-talk may arise from misconceptions that you create because of lack of information.

If the thoughts that run through your head are mostly negative, your outlook on life is more likely pessimistic. If your thoughts are mostly positive, you're likely an optimist — someone who practices positive thinking.

The health benefits of positive thinking

Researchers continue to explore the effects of positive thinking and optimism on health. Health benefits that positive thinking may provide include:

• Increased life span
• Lower rates of depression
• Lower levels of distress
• Greater resistance to the common cold
• Better psychological and physical well-being
• Better cardiovascular health and reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease
• Better coping skills during hardships and times of stress

It's unclear why people who engage in positive thinking experience these health benefits. One theory is that having a positive outlook enables you to cope better with stressful situations, which reduces the harmful health effects of stress on your body.

It's also thought that positive and optimistic people tend to live healthier lifestyles — they get more physical activity, follow a healthier diet, and don't smoke or drink alcohol in excess.

Avoid Generalization 

In private coaching, I often hear clients say: “I have low self-esteem.” There are several problems with this statement. First, it presumes a general, “all or none” perspective, as if either one has high self-esteem, or one has low self-esteem. If you take an honest assessment of yourself, chances are that you can come up with a list of qualities that make you feel good. For instance, if you’re reading this article, it most likely means that you possess self-awareness, the willingness to learn and grow, and a desire to realize more of your potential, all of which bode well for your future success.

Reducing the fear of rejection. 

One effective way to manage your fear of rejection is to provide yourself with multiple options in important situations, so that no matter what happens, you have strong alternatives going forward. Avoid putting all of your eggs in one basket (emotionally) by identifying a viable Plan B, and also a Plan C, should Plan A not work out. For example:

Increased fear of rejection: “I’m applying for my dream job. I’ll be devastated if they don’t hire me.”

Negative social comparison has elements of narcissism.

When we wish to look, be, or have like others, we’re not really wishing for everything about that person, but only the idealized aspects of the individual. This idealized and grandiose perception of another is narcissistic in nature. Chances are, not even those whom your compare yourself with can live up to your idealized images of them. This is why so often when people spend some length of time with their “heroes,” “heroines,” “role models,” or “idols,” they discover that those whom they look up to also have weaknesses, flaws, difficulties and problems just like everyone else.

Identifying negative thinking

Not sure if your self-talk is positive or negative? Some common forms of negative self-talk include:

• Filtering. You magnify the negative aspects of a situation and filter out all of the positive ones. For example, you had a great day at work. You completed your tasks ahead of time and were complimented for doing a speedy and thorough job. That evening, you focus only on your plan to do even more tasks and forget about the compliments you received.
• Personalizing. When something bad occurs, you automatically blame yourself. For example, you hear that an evening out with friends is canceled, and you assume that the change in plans is because no one wanted to be around you.
• Catastrophizing. You automatically anticipate the worst. The drive-through coffee shop gets your order wrong and you automatically think that the rest of your day will be a disaster.
• Polarizing. You see things only as either good or bad. There is no middle ground. You feel that you have to be perfect or you're a total failure.

Focusing on positive thinking

You can learn to turn negative thinking into positive thinking. The process is simple, but it does take time and practice — you're creating a new habit, after all. Here are some ways to think and behave in a more positive and optimistic way:

• Identify areas to change. If you want to become more optimistic and engage in more positive thinking, first identify areas of your life that you usually think negatively about, whether it's work, your daily commute or a relationship. You can start small by focusing on one area to approach in a more positive way.
• Check yourself. Periodically during the day, stop and evaluate what you're thinking. If you find that your thoughts are mainly negative, try to find a way to put a positive spin on them.
• Be open to humor. Give yourself permission to smile or laugh, especially during difficult times. Seek humor in everyday happenings. When you can laugh at life, you feel less stressed.
• Follow a healthy lifestyle. Aim to exercise for about 30 minutes on most days of the week. You can also break it up into 10-minute chunks of time during the day. Exercise can positively affect mood and reduce stress. Follow a healthy diet to fuel your mind and body. And learn techniques to manage stress.
• Surround yourself with positive people. Make sure those in your life are positive, supportive people you can depend on to give helpful advice and feedback. Negative people may increase your stress level and make you doubt your ability to manage stress in healthy ways.
• Practice positive self-talk. Start by following one simple rule: Don't say anything to yourself that you wouldn't say to anyone else. Be gentle and encouraging with yourself. If a negative thought enters your mind, evaluate it rationally and respond with affirmations of what is good about you. Think about things you're thankful for in your life.

Here are some examples of negative self-talk and how you can apply a positive thinking twist to them:

Strategies to build up character

Be more honest. Honesty is a key component of your character. Show others that you are honest by making your actions match your words. For example, if you tell your partner that you will be more supportive of their career, show them you mean it. You could make a point to ask them about a big project they're on or you could offer to take over dinner duty during a particularly busy time.^[1]

·         You can also become more honest by acting sincere. Don't feel that you always have to act a certain way. Give honest reactions.

·         For example, you can say to your partner, "I'm sorry I wasn't more supportive earlier. I think it was because I just miss you when you're at work."

 

Build your self-awareness. Self-awareness means paying getting to know yourself on a deeper level. By being self-aware, you can understand how your ideas and reactions are shaped. Getting a better sense of who you are can help you build your character. Set aside time to self-reflect each day. You can ask yourself questions such as, "Why did I react like that when Sue said that?" and "How could I improve my reaction the next time there is a conflict?"

• Meditation is also a great way to gain self-awareness. You can learn to meditate by downloading an app, taking a class, or reading a book on meditation. You can also just sit quietly and see where your thoughts take you!

Gain more self-control. You can develop your self-control by making small changes to your daily life. For example, you could work on controlling impulse eating. When you're about to reach for a late night snack, stop and ask yourself if you're actually hungry. Then drink a big glass of water instead. You can consciously think about controlling your impulses.

·         Making your bed daily is a great habit to commit to. It will help you develop discipline, which you can then use in other parts of your life.

 

Practice integrity. Living with integrity means that you're being true to the person you are inside. If your actions don't match your beliefs, then you will always feel unsettled inside. Know and honor your personal values and morals in your everyday life. Make your decisions based on these values, and don't bend to peer pressure.

·         Join a cause that fits with your values.

·         Think about how your decisions fall in line with your beliefs.

·         Change habits that are out of line with your beliefs.

·         Be honest.

Take responsibility for your mistakes and make things right. Everyone makes mistakes, but how you handle them shows your character. Be honest when you've messed up, and do what you can to make amends for your actions. Depending on the situation, you may need to apologize. Other times, you may need to change your behavior or take action to make up for what you did.

·         Work with the person you harmed to come up with a solution.

·         Consider ways that you could balance the situation.

·         If you make a mistake or do harm to someone else, admit your mistake and make it right. You could say, "I'm sorry that I took credit for your idea. I'm going to tell everyone that you're the one who thought of it."

 

Take calculated risks. There are lots of reasons to take risks, such as increasing your confidence and finding new ways to pursue success. A calculated risk is when you have weighed the risks and the benefits. Don't dive headfirst into something that you haven't thought about.

·         For example, maybe you've dreamed of starting your own photography business. It probably doesn't make sense to suddenly quit your job and depend on a brand new business. A better strategy would be to start small. Try booking photography gigs on the weekend. As your business develops, you could think more seriously about pursuing your passion full time.

Practice patience. It's normal to find yourself feeling impatient at times. Maybe you've had to bite your tongue when a co-worker didn't immediately grasp a concept. You can build your patience with some work. Start by trying to view the situation through the lens of the other person. You could think, "Oh, maybe Mary doesn't understand what I'm saying because she doesn't have the same background in technology as I do. I could use less jargon in explaining it."

·         You can also ask questions and listen carefully. Start with, "Mary, I'd love to help you understand. What points are unclear?" Then listen to Mary's response and try a new approach

 

Put yourself in someone else’s shoes. If you can become more empathetic, you’ll be able to better understand other people. You can strengthen your character by being able to relate to others and helping them. Try to imagine what someone else is going through. For example, maybe your friend recently lost a sibling. Think about how that might feel and how you would react. Try to think about what you could do to make your friend feel better.^[8]

·         You can also take this further and actually experience what the other person is dealing with. For example, maybe your partner is frustrated because they do all of the cooking. Try taking over dinner duty for the week so that you can understand why they feel stress

 

Start a gratitude practice. Gratitude is an important part of character strength because it demonstrates an awareness of the people and things around you. You can develop gratitude by intentionally making it part of your everyday life. For example, you can end each day by thinking of 3 things that you are grateful for.

·         You can also try keeping a gratitude journal where you write down things that you are grateful for. You could make notes throughout the day or devote 10 minutes each evening to journaling.

·         You could write, “Today I was given an opportunity to volunteer at the animal shelter. I’m grateful that I was able to do something constructive on this Saturday morning.

 

Express your gratitude towards others. You can also turn your gratitude outwards. Make it a point to say “thank you” every time someone does something for you. You can also make it a point to show appreciation for things that don’t directly affect you.^[11]

·         For example, you could say to a co-worker, “Thank you for landing that new client. An increase in business is good for all of us.”

·         You can make your comments specific. You could try, “I really appreciate that you brought me some chicken soup when I was sick. You’re really thoughtful.

 

Be open to learning new things. Being open-minded allows gaining new knowledge and perspective. Each time you learn something new, you are building on your knowledge base and becoming a stronger person. Don't just be open to learning new things; seek out opportunities to do so.

·         You could apply this at work. Say to your boss, “I’d love to learn more about the accounting side of our operation. Could I sit in on your meeting this afternoon?

Ask for help when you need it. Some people consider asking for help a sign of weakness. Actually, it shows a strength of character by illustrating that you can identify and articulate your needs. Make your requests specific and clear.

·         Instead of saying to your partner, "I need more help around the house!" try, "It would be great if you could be in charge of the laundry and walking the dog from now on."