Summary of Self Improvement And Self Development

 Title:

SELF IMPROVEMENT AND SELF DEVELOPMENT

Love your self like your life depends upon it

Introduction of Author:

Love yourself like your life depends upon it is written by Kamal Ravikant. He said that he considers himself a fortunate because he has faced wonderful experience of his life. He has walked to one of the highest base camps in the Himalayas, walked 550 miles across Spain, lived in Paris, been the only non-black, non-woman member of the Black Women's writers' group, written a novel. But the most transformative experience has been the simple act of loving himself. 

This is how and where he wrote this book, he learned everything from his surroundings and put his observations, ideas and experiences into words, so that other people can get benefits from it, they can learn something good from it.

Why I Choose this Book:

I have chosen this book because in this era we ale are running behind the materialistic word, all the time we think that how we will impress others and how we will seek attention but no one truly thinks that how he will be the favorite of his own self. No one literally no one thinks that either he is his own`s favorite or his own ideal. In this book the writer has told us the way to love our own self because I think the first thing in this world is to love your own self, believe me if a man does not love himself then he can never love another human either that human is his parents or his lover, so the first step is to know your own self and to love your own self, it all starts from self-awareness and self-perception

Main Idea of the Book: 

Start loving your own self by saying I love my self on daily basis. To make a decision truly and deeply that I love my self.

Example:

Almost all of us have been seen the world-famous season money heist, so what we gain from it, either to robbery or what?? Basically, it is not about the money and robbery it is about the reasons behind this act, all the robbers have their own reasons to steal money and all those reasons are related to their own self, all of them have big plans to accomplish and these plans are for their own self , to live happily in their future, to make themselves satisfied.

Whenever one face difficulty or trouble situation this will help him to not to be afraid of it and to face it because he loves himself, he knows about hi abilities that he can pass through this difficult time.

The book in three sentences:

• Share your truth like the writer did

• When you share your truth, the world responds in ways you could never have imagined.

• Kamal’s truth is to love himself as if his life depends on it.

Summary

The mind already has a strong wiring for love. The body knows it as well. It knows that love encourages, that love is gentle, that love is accepting. It knows that love heals.

As you love yourself, life loves you back. I don't think it has a choice either. I can't explain how it works, but I know it to be true.

Darkness is the absence of light. If you remember this, it will change your life. Changed mine. It is the concept that the practice is based on. Any negative thought is darkness and any positive thought is 

Brightness, it’s up to you that either you are choosing positive or negative thought. Kamal said

I once heard someone explain thoughts as this: we, as human beings, think that we're thinking Not true. Most of the time, we're remembering. We're re-living memories. We're running familiar patterns and loops in our head. For happiness, for delay, for sadness. Fears, hopes, dreams, desires. We have loops for everything.

The writer created three main steps of practicing selflove.

• A mental loop

• Meditation

• A question

1. Mental loop:

We as humans have mental loops, loops of sadness, frustration, anger, hope, fear, wishes, dreams, goals, we have loops of everything. We need a mental loop for self-love, telling ourselves we love ourselves.

2. Meditation:

Put on some music, imagine yourself as part of the universe. Sit with back against wall or window. Cross legs or stretch them out, whatever feels natural. Close eyes. Smile slowly. Imagine a beam of light pouring into your head from above.

On the inhale, say “I love myself.” On the exhale, push out whatever comes up. Having a dedicated song to do this too will create an anchor so that as soon as you hear it you drop into the meditation.

When music ends, open your eyes slowly. Smile. Do it from the inside out. This is your time. This is purely yours.

3. A question:

On dealing with others and reacting to their negative emotions with his own:

“I ask myself, ‘If I loved myself truly and deeply, would I let myself experience this?’”

The answer to the above is always no.

Rather than solving the emotion or trying not to feel it, Kamal will just return to the one true thing in his head, “I love myself; I love myself; I love myself.”

“Here we are, thinking that one needs to be in love with another to shine, to feel free and shout from the rooftops, but the most important person, the most important relationship we’ll ever have is waiting, is craving to be loved truly and deeply.”

“Beautiful irony. Fall in love with yourself. Let your love express itself and the world will beat a path to your door to fall in love with you.”

• Another meditation

1. Set a timer for 5 minutes.

2. Stand in front of a mirror, nose a few inches away. Relax. Breathe.

3. Look into your eyes. It helps if you focus on one. Your left eye. Don’t panic, it’s only you. Relax. Breathe slowly, naturally, until you develop a rhythm.

4. Looking into your left eye, say, “I love myself.”  Whether you believe it that moment or not isn’t important. What’s important is you saying it to yourself, looking into your eyes, where there is no escape from the truth. And ultimately, the truth is loving yourself.

5. Repeat “I love myself” gently, pausing occasionally to watch your eyes. When the five minutes are up, smile. You’ve just communicated the truth to yourself in a deep, instinctive way. In a way, the mind cannot escape. If anyone ever looked in your eyes, knowing that you loved them, this is what they saw. Give yourself the same gift.

“If a painful memory arises, don’t fight it or try to push it away, it is a part of your memories, your life, try not to escape from it try to accept it. Fighting fear doesn't work. It just drags us in closer. One has to focus on what is real. On the truth. When in darkness, don't fight it. You can't win.

And here's the interesting part. When we love ourselves, we naturally shine, we are naturally beautiful. And that draws others to us. Before we know it, they're loving us and it's up to us to choose who to share our love with.

Thousands of years ago, a Roman poet wrote,

“I am a human being, therefore nothing human is foreign to me.” I believe it to be true. So, if this is possible for one human, it is possible for anyone. The path might be different, but the destination same.

Key lessons:

 Share your truth. Whatever your truth is, live it. Share it.

 Do not worry that what people will think about me

 During a dark time in his life when he was feeling incredibly stressed and even depressed, the author kept repeating to himself day and night, “I love myself.”

 He kept repeating it until it surprised himself doing it automatically. “Imagine the feeling of catching yourself loving yourself without even realizing you were doing it.”

 As you love yourself, life loves you back.

 There are three steps to gently return himself to self-love each day: 1) Mental loop, 2) Meditation, 3) One Question.

 What if you don’t love yourself or even like yourself? Just remain open to the possibility of loving yourself. 

 Darkness is simply the absence of light. You can’t push darkness away. You can’t hide from it. Similarly, you can’t hide from depression, anxiety, self-hate, and more. And you don’t need to.

 The only thing you need to do is turn a light on. To let the sun shine in through the window. Whenever you feel like you are in darkness, just let light in through the window. You don’t need to escape or destroy the darkness. Just let in the light.

 The more you think about it, the more you feel it, the stronger the memory. The more you recall something, the more it strengthens.

 The more you focus on negative aspects of your memory, the more they take control. They more you focus on the positive thoughts and loving yourself, the more they take control.

 Most of what we fear is not useful and not real. When fear arises, your job is to remind yourself of this. “Not useful. Not real

 If you love yourself truly and deeply, you’ll commit to the practice. You won’t get lazy when things are going well.

Conclusion:

The thing I have gathered is that this loving your own self is as much important as putting an oxygen mask for a serious patient, it automatically softens our ego when we love our self, we start loving others. The way we give importance to our thoughts, other`s also become important for a self-love man.

By repeating the same words, I love myself, we are putting the phrase in our bones. With the passage of time it gets into our mind and everything’s seems natural for us, those that are trouble once.

Most of us claims that I love myself, but the really don’t. when they are going through any dark time, they realize that they have not did any thing for their own happiness.

My experience:

I really was not familiar that it is that much important for a common person but As I started to love myself, things inside me shifted. Fear strengthens the ego. Love softens it. I became more open. It was natural to be gentle with others, even when they weren't loving towards me. This book has brought several changes in my own life, it let me know that others thoughts are not all the time important, its not necessary to think all the time what they will say, what they will think of me, what if they left me, but now I have realized such persons have no importance. The main thing which matters is my own self